My temporary home...

January 21, 2012

It's early morning and I am sitting in the den gazing into the fire ... the flames are dancing back and forth almost in a hypnotizing way.  I wonder how many days I will have here before the new owner takes my place.  My mind is traveling through time thinking about my season here ... my temporary home. Tears float down my face and I am grateful for my stay...

My mother and father were born and raised just thirty miles from each other.  They met, married and lived in two houses their entire lives.  I spent my growing up years in those houses and knew that those places as home.  Yet, that was temporary too as I ventured off to college, married and moved from state to state and often times several homes within a city.  I felt like a gypsy, making friends then moving, making a home feel special then moving...  I had hoped that this place would be my last move ... then, life goes on and we have to make decisions that are logical but still there is sadness.

I thought about Carrie Underwood's song, Temporary Home and had to look it up on UTube.  It's true, we are travelers moving through time towards our eternal home.  I thought about the many children who are moved from place to place in foster care not knowing stability.  I thought about the many times, I packed up boxes and unpacked them.  At least the contents were familiar even if my temporary home was different.  To me, the Lord was my stabilizing factor.  To my children, I was the stabilizing factor.  Now, we all know the Lord as our foundation.   Above all else, that was my hope and prayer.

Being sixty five has been quite a roller coaster ride for me as it has been for so many people in this economy and in this world.  I have always looked for a place to put my feet down and hoped that it was safe ... a place where I could find contentment and joy and spend a long time.  Believe me, life has been quite different than I thought it would be.

When I visit Mom in the nursing home, I see the sadness in the faces lining the hall.  Some are drooling all over themselves, others staring off into space, others visiting with family and friends.  Mom knows she needs to be there but the adjustment has been long coming.  The nursing home is clean, the care adequate, meals healthy, and residents treated kindly.  The home has a full slate of activities as well as a beauty shop on site.  Still ... it is a temporary home.  One many of them look forward to leaving.

I chatted with two of my friends from Minnesota this morning which was a day brightener.  We are making plans for another get-together in July.  I felt a sense of joy just thinking about my trip ... six of us will gather at a lake house for several days.  I can only imagine what fun we will have!!  I am blessed beyond blessed to have such deep long lasting friendships!  I am anxious to move forward on plans!!  Second to third week of July, my trusty bug, Lily, and I will be headed northward!!  Hopefully, I won't run into any more sand piles on the road this time!

Many children have special blankets and toys that give them comfort.  What has been my comfort?  First of all, it has always been my family.  Where we have gathered has been home.  When we are together the world seems less scary and our spirits brighter.   Secondly, the few possessions I have had for 40+ years make me smile ... some of my possessions go back to my mother, father, grandparents, and great grandparents.  I touch them and feel the presence of all those who touched them before me.   My array of Bibles give me comfort ... I was sorting through some books in the office today and found the Promise Bible ... it was the Bible I took with me when I lived at the Women's Shelter for thirty days.  I sat down on the floor and read my notes ... I would talk to the Lord and He would answer through the Psalms.  It brought back memories of the comfort I felt at that time.

When life seems so upside down, it's hard to imagine what the future holds.  I know what I want it to hold but then it's still a black hole.  I've learned that it's important for me to do the right thing then leave the outcome to God.  When all is crazy in this world, I am so grateful for my faith -- my rock, my foundation, my constant ... my Lord.  He has told me that He will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5) and I take comfort in that.

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!  Absolutely and positively!!!