When Life Throws A Curve Ball!

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but not crushed and broken.  We are perplexed because we didn’t know why things happen as they do but we don’t give up and quit.  We are hunted down but God never abandons.  We get knocked down but we get up again and keep going.” ~~II Corinthians 8-9

I’ve been talking in my blogs about how the Lord speaks to me and how much faith I have in Him.  Saturday, I mentioned to Michael that I thought we needed to go to the little casa and me spend the week.  He said he’d rather go next weekend because my birthday is this Thursday and he wanted to be with me on that day.  We had a nice time taking in the Christmas decorations at the mall and watched the movie Christmas Vacation to end our fun day … I went to bed uneasy though still thinking that a trip to the little casa was in order.

I woke yesterday morning at 7 and told Michael we needed to go to the little casa.  He got rather perturbed with me and gave me a flat out “no.”  I wasn’t feeling good – in fact I was throwing up and really feeling miserable so I did go back to bed and slept until noon.  I woke up with a start and told Michael that we HAD TO GO to the little casa.  I started putting together some things I would need for the week and he finally agreed to go with me to make sure I got there OK and that everything was in order.  He was still arguing with me though even as we were getting into the cars, saying that I had no business going when I was sick.  As for me … when I get that nudge from the Lord, I am obedient and whether he was going with me or not I was going to go!!

The closer we got to the little casa, the more uneasy I felt…  I was so happy when we pulled in the driveway.  Michael had given me a new key so I was the first to enter.  Oh my gosh, a water pipe cap had cracked and water was spraying all over.  The ceiling in the kitchen had collapsed, there was water dripping into the refrigerator and dishwasher plus the water had soaked the oriental rugs in the dining room and living room, and the ceiling and walls in the living room were about to cave in.  Our beautiful little casa was in dire straits!!

I praised God for telling me that we needed to come here.  Michael looked at me and said, “I will never doubt you again when you say we need to do something.”  There was another blessing … our contractor, Lupe, had been in Mexico and had just come back Sunday evening.  He and his worker bee came right over and helped us carry the rugs out and clean up all the water.  The rugs are hanging on the fence; hopefully, they don’t get moldy!

I guess I could be ranting and raving but what good would that do?  Michael will call the insurance company Monday and Lupe will need to get started redoing the kitchen and parts of the living room and dining room.  There’s nothing that can’t be fixed!  We came just in time…

The Lord works in strange ways.  I don’t know why that pipe broke but for a reason unbeknownst to me it did and it did make a mess … a huge mess!  You know, bad things happen in life all the time; however, God is with us and helps us deal with the messes.  Not only is Lupe set to go with repairs, my dear friend, Etta, picked up my Pomeranian, Khelsea, and will care for her til I get back.  We need the Lord and we need friends and family to help us deal with our messes.

None of the furniture was damaged which was a blessing and the bedrooms and bathroom escaped any damage.  Tomorrow is a new day and I know there will be blessings around every corner.   I am sitting here in awe.  It was one more time that God let me know that He was in control.  I normally am a fretter, not about the little things in life, but about the big things like my long term disability which is still being reviewed.  How will I live?  What will I do?  God knows … and, just like the mess at the little casa, He is prompting someone to do something on my behalf.  I am blessed.

Remember....you, are loved and prayed for .... YA YOU!!!

P.S.  It’s Monday … I got Michael up at 4 this morning to help me elevate one of the rugs.  We were laughing at how crazy the past few hours have been.  This afternoon, the rugs are almost dry and there doesn’t seem to be any permanent damage!  As if having water damage wasn’t enough, I was in the kitchen and dropped something behind the stove … I smelled gas.  Michael called the gas company and the “gas guy” came out … sure enough, we had a leak.  Poor Lupe, it seems like we’ve needed him for something every few hours.  The gas leak is now fixed and we’re now waiting for the insurance adjusters to come out.  I will be here the rest of the week …  We have lots of trees and I made a feeble attempt at raking and gave up.  Lupe knew of a man who did lawn mowing, etc. so he’s coming to help me.  Yikes!  I will be ready for a good night’s sleep tonight.



Wisdom, Discernment, & Revelation

The Cross ... A Reminder

The Cross oh the glorious cross!  I think I have said before that I collect crosses.  Each has a different story and meaning!  I love each and every one of them!!

I purchased this cross for our Anchor Class at church.  It was so beautiful that I decided to go back to Hobby Lobby and purchase one for myself.  How wonderful ... half price!

In the early 1990's, my husband and I were brought before a church elder board.  The accusations against us were totally false and as I prayed I didn't understand why they couldn't see the truth.  I can't go into much detail about this because it involves someone I care very deeply about.  I can tell you what happened though which is more important.

I knew the accusations were false and it was then that I decided to read the Bible from front to back.  I was not ready to take someone else's word for what was in there and judge me.  As a Christian, I'd read passages but not the entire book.  In fact from that time, I have read the Bible from front to back for many years and will begin again January 1, 2011.  Besides that...if I call myself a Christian wouldn't I want to know the man I followed?  Yes, we go to church but we hear the message from a man or woman who may have a bias.  I wanted to know EXACTLY what Jesus said ... I wanted to know EXACTLY what God said.  I wanted to know the helper, the Holy Spirit.  It was then that I began to know my Lord as my leader, my maker, my Redeemer!

While waiting for my book Give Me 40 Days, I am reading and praying through The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children.  I have found that I like to learn something new every day and Stormie Omartain has been one of my favorite authors.  I taught the class on The Power of A Praying Wife and it not only brought peace to me but to the women in my class.  What a blessing those classes were.  I still go back and do the book praying for Michael.  I am kind of a control freak and that helps me let go and allow God to work in Michael's life and bless him.  I knew that as a Christian after the meeting with the elder board that I needed to grow in wisdom, discernment and revelation.  I want this for my children as well.  To be accused of something you did not do is tough ... to be accused by an elder board of a church was doubly hurtful especially when it came from someone that I loved dearly.  The good news, it was then that I truly began to grow in my faith and knowledge of who I am in Christ.  His provision and protection came forward ten fold!!

As parents it is so difficult to stand by and do nothing when our adult children are straying off the path.  We can offer advice but when it is rejected, where do we go and what do we do?  Like the story of the prodigal son in the Bible, we pray and wait.  We have to trust God to answer our prayers.  There is no permanent change in anyone who does not allow the Holy Spirit into their hearts.  My son would call it a spiritual awakening.  I'm never going to be perfect; however, I can learn each day to become more like Jesus.  Our actions speak louder than words which I learned from my Grandmother Maggie.  Hopefully, my legacy will be one of a woman who is Christ-like!

Wisdom ... As Stormie says in her book, "No one can get through life successfully without wisdom, discernment, and revelation from God..."  The toxic society our children have to wade through on a daily basis perpetuates so many lies and deceptions that only by having an understanding of the Word of God -- as well as having a word from God in their hearts, given by the Spirit of wisdom -- can they navigate around the pitfalls set as a trap for them to fall into.

The Bible says that all we have to do is ask God for wisdom and He will give it to us.  "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."~~James 1:5  When we have wisdom, we can see the consequences of our actions before we act, which enables us to make the right decision as to what action to take. 

What happens when someone refuses to accept wisdom?  Proverbs is a great book in the Bible to read ... there are 31 chapters ... one for each day of the week.  Proverbs 1:28-32 says, "They will call on me, but I will not answer; they will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.  Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD, they would have none of my counsel.  Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way..."  In other words, the Spirit of wisdom wants to pour out wisdom upon us, but if we do not seek to have it and we refuse wise counsel, we will suffer the consequences.  However if we seek wisdom, we will live safe and secure lives.



A cross from an old church in France...my favorite!

Discernment ... oh, how important this is not only for us but for our adult children!  For example, it is so important to be able to discern the true character of a person, which can save us all tremendous grief and trouble.  The good news is that we can ask God for discernment in prayer.  What is it that you are seeking?  Ask Him!  If you go from person to person until you get the answer you want, that may not be the right answer.  Been there, done that!  Now, I seek wisdom from my pastor, my friends who walk their talk!  I may not like what they tell me, but I have prayed to be teachable not stubborn.

Revelation ... I have prayed for revelation from God in all areas of my life.  Revelation from God means that He reveals who He is to me.  Revelation from God helps me to make a right response--a response I would not have known to make without it.  Without revelation from God, I have made disastrous decisions not only affecting me but my whole family.  I pray for clarity for my children in this area.

The Lord is my Shepherd...

Prayer ... This is my rock, my peace, my direction ... it is in my prayer closet that I talk to the Lord and listen for His direction.  It is there that I find calmness in the eye of the storm.  Some years ago, I attended a Sunday School class and the topic was Psalm 23.  It has been one of my favorite classes.  When browsing through an antique store, I came across a shepherd's staff.  I knew immediately that I needed this.  Every time I look at it, I am reminded how my Shepherd protects me.  He looks after me day in and day out.  Did you know that a shepherd would sometimes break the legs of a lamb who was wayward then carry that lamb on his shoulders until the lamb healed?  That's what God has done for me ... He brought me to the bottom then carried me to recovery from childhood trauma that continued on into adulthood.  I am so very grateful.

Michael & Lupe discussing the renovations!

Moving forward ... When we started redoing the little house that Michael grew up in we thought it would be a quick job.  We found out that one thing led to another and we had to take the house back to the studs then move forward.  Our lives are like that too ... we go through the Refiner's Fire to become whole in Christ.   We had to stabilize the foundation before we could do anything.  As a result, the little casa came to life and we love her.  We had prayed for a contractor who was a Christian and  who took his work seriously.  We were blessed when we found Lupe ... quite by accident.  Ask and ye shall receive!  You bet!! 

Today is "Black Friday" and the pictures of the malls on TV are crazy.  Not for me!!  I'm not one for pushing through crowds and standing in long lines.  I may choose to shop later in the evenings when the crowds dissipate.




My first Mark Robert's Christmas Fairy!

 





Have a blessed day ... Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the Way!!!  Remember...you are loved...YA YOU!

PS:  I walked through the garden center on Wednesday and the fresh smell of the cut trees, wreaths and table centerpieces brought back memories of cutting our tree and using the cut off branches for decorations!  I think I'll go get some Christmas Tree fragrance and spray it around the house today.  Or, better yet, maybe a candle or two that brings in the scent of the "real" Christmas tree!  Oh, how I love Christmas!!!!!  Don't you?

We Gather Together

We Gather Together...  Years and years ago we used to sing this song at Thanksgiving time at church.  I thought about this song today and it kept running through my mind as we gathered together with my son and family to celebrate Thanksgiving.  It brought back good memories of Thanksgiving in past years way back to my childhood.  In fact, I can never remember a bad Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving represented different things as I have gathered with different people but every gathering was filled with gaiety and a feast of food!  I was reading about the first Thanksgiving meal and it was so different than what we consider for our Thanksgiving meal today.  The one thing we did have in common was the gratefulness and camaraderie! 

We Gather Together
 We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing;
He chastens and hastens his will to make known;
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing,
Sing praises to his name: He forgets not his own.

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
Ordaining, maintaining his kingdom divine;
So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
Thou, Lord, wast at our side, All glory be thine!

We all do extol thee, thou leader triumphant,
And pray that thou still our defender wilt be.
Let thy congregation escape tribulation;
Thy name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!
Amen

~~Traditional Thanksgiving Hymn

(A translation by Theodore Baker - 1851-1934)



Tommy carving the turkey

I hope that all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  It truly is a day to remember what we are thankful for.  Last week I went over to church to fill boxes full of food to be given to needy families for their Thanksgiving meal.  Our church is small -- only 261+ members -- but, oh how generous they were.  The boxes were overflowing with food plus each had a turkey!  With our economy the way it is right now it is important to remember to give when someone you know needs a hand!

Today, Michael and I were privileged to be invited to the home of my son and family along with another delightful couple.  What a feast we had beginning with prayer and each of us sharing what we were thankful for this year.  It was hard to limit my blessings to just one because God has been so good to me in so many ways!



Nicholas, Brittany, Ryan, Zachary

My oldest granddaughter has a birthday on November 30 so I thought an early gift would be appropriate today since I probably won't see her on her special day.  She is my God-given granddaughter and the oldest of my grandchildren.  As we walked in the door today, Zachary and Nicholas met us with hugs, kisses and  such joyfulness!  Grandchildren are so special and make every get-together fun!  Zachary is in to video games so I watched him play a game and Nicholas is into football.  At 4, he's got quite an arm!!  Brittany is recovering from major surgery and is still a little sore.  Her partner, Ryan, takes good care of her.  I like that!  The only thing that could have made the day better was if my daughter and her family in Florida could have been present.  Bummers!  Maybe next year.



Put another log on the fire...

Put another log on the fire!  We are getting the first real freeze of the season and cold weather coming in from the North.  It was nice to have a fire going today as we came together to celebrate our blessings.  I've been using the paper logs but after experiencing the "real deal" today, I think I am going to scout out some places that have seasoned wood.  The crackle and smell was so inviting.  Ever since I came to Texas in 1970, I've had a fireplace and I love to curl up in my favorite chair with a good book and enjoy the flames.  Today, Nicholas, called it a volcano when flames shot up in the air.  Nicholas had a wonderful imagination!

Christmas is just around the corner

Christmas is just around the corner!  Down here people live for "Black Friday".  Some stores are opening at midnight and others at 3 or 4am for blow out low prices.  As for me, my bed is much too comfy to crawl out to shop with a bunch of people rushing around to find that special bargain.  We stopped at Walmart on our way home tonight and they had a multitude of stacks in the aisles with tags on them stating that they were Black Friday bargains.  I'm more looking forward to A Dickens Christmas which starts tomorrow evening at 6:15pm with the tree lighting.  It's a wonderful experience...the stores decorate their store fronts, carolers roam the streets, and their are carriage rides, the Christmas train, food vendors...and, of course, the town resembles an English village filled with Christmas tidings!!  From the sound of things, we'll need to bundle  up ... thanks OK, that's what makes it fun!



A thank you to the cooks - the host & hostess!

My thanks to Tommy and Angie, the host and hostess of today's Thanksgiving.  I would give my daughter in law an A+ for the meal she prepared and my son always makes everyone feel right at home.  Thanksgiving 2010 was a winner!  I left their home feeling blessed for my family and for the opportunity to meet Fred and his wife.  For years, I spent days getting ready for Thanksgiving and now, it is time to pass the baton.  Actually, it was nice to get up this morning, and not fretting about the house or if the turkey was done enough or too done!  It was nice to sit back and just enjoy the festivities!

It is my hope that you, too, had a wonderful day with family and friends.  I've kept a gratitude journal for years and it helps me to focus on the bright side of life.  When my son was small and he had a bad day, I would tell him that we were going to take five minutes and kick, yell and scream then it would be time to stop and enjoy the rest of the day.  Actually, by the time the five minutes was up, we were laughing to hard at each other, it was difficult to remember what the "bad part" of the day was.

So, my friends, I wish you blessings...I wish you love...I wish you wholeness and recovery no matter what difficulties you are experiencing.  Chat with you tomorrow ... one of these days, I'll have some snow to report ... snow in Texas is a BIG DEAL!!

Take care and God bless...

Happy Thanksgiving 2010

I Am Grateful

"You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore." ~~ Psalm 16:11

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving 2010 and it truly will be a day of giving thanks for my recovery ... this is the first year that I have truly experienced peace.  For those of you who have had the blessing of a happy childhood, it may not seem like a big thing ... but, to me, peace came at a price ... years of counseling and searching within myself and talking with others.

To reveal the deepness of my hurt, has opened the door to criticism and rejection.  No one likes the family dirty laundry aired across the country and beyond.  For me, I have prayed for a hedge of protection not only for my blog but that those that need to read what I have to say are blessed.  Childhood trauma is quite common.  The sad part is that trauma can be trapped within the brain and although there are symptoms (like my marriages to abusive partners) they are not brought to the surface and the adult goes on in misery not knowing the source.

"Recovery from childhood trauma involves owning the experiences we have disowned.  It includes owning parts of ourselves that we continue to want to push away.  It is a painful process because it means that we will need to embrace painful realities.  Everything in us (and around us) tells us that this is not the right path to take.  But it is always truth, no matter how painful, that frees us.  Embracing our life experiences and their ongoing impact on us is the path to freedom and wholeness."~~Juanita Ryan

Childhood trauma is not an easy thing to face for any of us no matter what the trauma may have been as a child.  To face the pain head on as an adult is down right scary.  There are certain parts that we need to be aware of which are the self critical/judgmental (where we reject and criticize ourselves) part and the compassion part where we learn to love ourselves.  This is very hard to accept.  Eventually having the understanding of the compassionate part is the "wounded part" which carries most of our pain of shame, fear and despair.

Recovery cannot be done alone.  I chose Christian counseling because I knew that God needed to be involved.  I looked to him as my heavenly father who was loving and fair while my earthly father ignored, criticized, and verbally/emotionally abused me.  I have struggled just like everyone does at some point.  I have had many doubts, many questions, and many frustrations as to why the bad happened in my childhood.  It was only when I did counseling with a counselor who specialized in childhood trauma did I make progress.  The blanks in my childhood were so troubling that I was driven to find answers.

God comes first in my life.  I know that I cannot be complete if I do not trust Him.  It has also been important to have the support of others that do understand my struggles and the reassurance that there is a God that does love me.  I'm not a Lone Ranger ... I find that reassurance from others is very important.  I used to be really scared but when I became very transparent with Him fear turned to a quiet peacefulness.  One thing I have noticed about myself after having one of my many open and honest discussions with God, is that I do not feel as much guilt.  I do not candy-coat my pain for God.  Believe me, He can handle it and that gives me comfort.

I had so much false guilt because in every act of freedom is the possibility of offending someone.  I learned at a very young age that offending someone was unacceptable.  Other people were seen as pipelines of approval.  If they were offended, the pipeline shut down.  My mother used to remind me of birthdays, anniversaries and other occasions that involved family.  When I told her that they did not remember me on those occasions, she told me that didn't matter ... others mattered, I did not.  I don't beat myself up anymore or get those panic attacks because I have offended someone.  If necessary, I apologize and move on.

Looking back, I really don't think that my parents meant to hurt me.  The problem is that I was hurt and that hurt followed me into adulthood.  Am I cured?  No...I will always need to be aware of triggers and careful of my surroundings and the people in my life.  I have a plan for my days and am good to myself.  Every day I do something that brings me joy and also do something that gives someone else joy.  I have choices now and I love that.

Today, I spent the whole day outside working in my gardens.  We have cold weather coming and I needed to get my perennials cut down and mulched.  I also planted some Winter flowers.  I love Pansies ... their little faces make me smile!  Gardening gives me so much pleasure.  I put my music on, dig in the dirt, and create my own little Eden.  I've moved so many times since I left home in the Fall of 1964.  I've been in this house seven years and I feel safe here.  That's important to me.  I am so grateful for my home and being able to garden and create a warm place for myself and for others who walk through my door.



Grandparents' Day at Zachary's School

 Most of all, I am grateful for friends and family.  No matter what, we are family!  I can choose my friends but family is what it is ... FAMILY!!  I am grateful for the time spent with my children and grandchildren.  I am grateful that my childhood trauma made me more aware of being a good parent and grandparent.  Has it been easy sailing?  Heck no!  However, I am proud to say that we know that love is not based on being perfect.  Love just is ... unconditional!

I wish all my followers a very Happy Thanksgiving!  May the Lord bless and keep you safe this Thanksgiving and the upcoming holidays, Christmas and New Years.

  
Remember you are all loved, YA YOU!! 

 

Letting Go

 

I am a butterfly and must be free ... free to do, free to be, free to carry out my own destiny.  I watched this butterfly a long while before I snapped the photo.  It danced among the flowers in my garden stopping here and there never moving far from where I sat gazing upon this beautiful creature!  I was thinking of trying to catch it but quickly changed my mind ... it needed to be free.  As people, we are like that ... our country was founded on the principle of freedom as new settlers made their way across the ocean to settle in a country that was so new and unchained by bureaucracy.  What a sight it must have been.  My ancestry has been traced back to the Mayflower through my mother's side of the family ... I wonder what they saw and what they felt as they reached this land of ours?  Our founding fathers -- I wonder what they would say about our country now?

Freedom from chains that bind:  In 1979, I joined an Alanon group - first one in MN then one in TX.  They talked about things that were so foreign to me.  Odd things like the alcoholic was our addiction.  I wasn't ready to be completely honest at that time and thought that my involvement with an alcoholic was just a fluke.  I didn't have any problems, it was HIM!  It was a beginning though and I have never forgotten what I learned there.  I worked the steps as best I could but because I didn't know the origin of my pain, it was easier for me to become a leader and teach the steps.  It was that way for many years for me.  It was always easier to lead and focus on others' issues than to work on my own.  It wasn't until 2003 when the walls came tumbling down that I was able to look in the mirror and dig into my heart and soul and claim my freedom.

There was a poem I came across today and I remembered it from the Alanon group.  Today, it has new meaning as I share it with you:

Letting Go

• To let go does not mean to stop caring.  It means I can't do it for someone else.
• To let go is not to cut myself off.  It's the realization that I can't control another.
• To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
• To let go is not to try to change or blame another.  It's to make the most of myself.
• To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
• To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
• To let go is not to judge but to allow another to be a human being.
• To let go is not to be in the middle, arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
• To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
• To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
• To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
• To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
• To let go is to fear less and love more.

~~Author Unknown

This is exactly what I learned in Childhood Trauma Counseling as well as Alanon!  As a child, I was a victim and had no say ... as an adult, I do not have to be a victim and I do have a say.  My old tapes said, "It's your fault."  My new tapes say, "Think about it, if it's true, own it ... if it's not true, let it go, not everything is your fault."

 

I had so much guilt inside me ... I even apologized to my abusers!  Now that's sick.  It was my part to accept that all my choices weren't going to be good ones and for those I needed to say I was sorry, make amends and move on.  IT WASN'T UP TO ME TO APOLOGIZE FOR BEING A TARGET FOR AN ANGRY SOUL!!  The hurtful part came when my apology wasn't accepted ... then the old tapes REALLY rolled.  It's taken a long while to work on that!

I am in the process of reading THE POWER OF PRAYING FOR YOUR ADULT CHILDREN written by Stormie Omartian.  It is a great book for parents who have children who have left the nest.  To have an adult child is way different than having a small child or teenager.  To be able to step back is tough especially when we see them stumbling.  Yet, it is healthy for them to learn from their mistakes and grow from them.  Me?  I have been the biggest fixer of all ... I couldn't stand to see anyone suffer or hurt.  What I was doing though was taking away someone's ability to get stronger by figuring something out which raises self-esteem.  I had forgotten that in struggling, I was made strong!  Yet ... I have to tell you, where there is a real need, I am still the first person to step up to the plate and help out.

It has always been difficult for me to ask for help.  I am so used to being an independent lady.  Having Fibromyalgia and Degenerative Disk Disease/Osteoarthritis has definitely humbled me.  Instead of being the energizer bunny, I've had to tone it down a bit.  I think my husband is glad of that!  BUT, here's the good news ...  These days, I dance and I sing.  I keep the slate clean with my fellow man and women and sleep peacefully.  I am one of the lucky ones.  I am healing the little girl inside of me and believe me, I take good care of her!!  She growing up these days.  I enjoy life and I am so grateful that the Lord tapped me on the shoulder and claimed me as His. 



Jesus said, "You did not choose me, but I chose you."  John 15:16  Peter described followers of Jesus in this way:  "But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."  1 Peter 2:9

It's getting close to Thanksgiving.  I have so much to be thankful for and believe me, this has been quite a eye-opening year!  We have been invited to my son and daughter in laws for dinner.  For so many years I've been the hostess...it's time to pass the baton and just "relax and enjoy."  Last year's get together was so much fun ... I know it will be this year as well!  It's supposed to be really cold so maybe a log or two on the fire will be welcome!



Have a Joyous Day!



Happy Pre-Thanksgiving all you wonderful people out there.  Remember, you are loved,

YA YOU!!

What's My Style



Michele Tests Me on "My Style"

 What's my style?  Over the years "my style" has evolved until I felt truly comfortable in my own skin and my surroundings.

I had a drapery lady come in to do some drapes for my living/dining room combination in the mid 1980's.  She was so awed by the rooms that my children and I called home that she submitted my home to the Dallas Morning News as home of the month.  I won and the DMNews sent out a reporter to interview me and take photos of the house.  Now, mind you, my home was not grand ... it was a 1970's brick house on the small side.  What it did have was rooms put together with lots of love and hard work.

Jane decorated her room with a Laura Ashley touch ... a white iron bed covered with a white, lavender and green comforter.  She studied at an antique desk.  Tommy picked out Cargo bunk beds, a dresser/desk and a TV stand.  We used Ralph Lauren plaid comforters on the bed and used his sports shirts as decoration on the walls - later on we added sports pictures.  Both of my children were rather on the neat side and loved their rooms.  When Jane was a teenager, her boyfriend, climbed up in the attic and dropped a line for a phone for her.  Tommy was 5 years younger and the typical tattle-tale kid brother.  Not too much went on in the house that I didn't know about!  At least I thought I knew everything ... now that my children are grown they keep confessing these little secrets that they got away with.  Hmmmm 

The rest of the house was more on the English Cottage style in an eclectic way.  My wooden indian graced a corner in the kitchen and furnishing came from thrift shops and flea markets.  Somehow, it just fit and Jane, Tommy and I enjoyed many years there.  It was a safe house where love flowed and friends where in and out continually.  It was a home worthy of being Home of the Week!  Mimowee is still with me in 2010!!

There is a store in Dallas called The Market.  I used to go in the Market and drool.  I would study the placement of furniture, pictures and the unusual ways they decorated the rooms of the store.  When one of their stores closed, I bought my first purchase there, a deer head.  That deer head makes me smile.   When we moved into our home 7 years ago, the deer head was sitting on the bed - the man putting up the blinds looked at Michael and said, "You a hunter?"  Michael smiled and said, "No, my wife's a decorator!"  Much to my husband's chagrin, my deer head goes where I go!!  My daughter loves their Market III candles so every holiday, I ship her some.  The Market has taught me a lot about uniqueness.  Trial and error has taught me about what feels good.  I am definitely NOT a pastel person.  Give me COLOR!!  Give me reds, golds, lime greens, purples, browns ...then, I am happy.  Blue makes me sad and sleepy.  Pink ... I can take that or leave it depending on the shade.  Also, every room needs a touch of black...not too much just a dab.  I'm not picky, I'm ME!!



Dining Room At The Little Casa



When we decided to redo the house Michael grew up in, we decided to order our living room furniture pieces from Ethan Allen so that we could get exactly the right fabrics.  I worked with a young lady who tested me on my style.   "My style" is Romantic Country English (with a Ralph Lauren twist).  I'm not a formal person thus the doing away with the formal dining room in this house and moving it to the little casa.  Being a Christian, I also bring my faith into my home.  I collect crosses and have a special one that came from a church in France.  My friend, Etta, gave me a beautiful picture that a man drew of Jesus using scripture.  I  had it framed and it is one of my favorite pictures.  I also like pictures of the English countryside and people.  I make wreaths and floral arrangements and play with my house moving things here and there.  Once I was in the country and found an old block that babies used to play with in the early 1900's ... for years, that old block sat on a dresser in my bedroom.  I just never know where I'll find that next treasure!

I am a huge animal lover ... my dogren give me such joy and I bring that love into my home -- every time I find a special Scottie piece, I find it difficult to resist.  I also decorate with pigs chickens ... anything that reminds me of the countryside.  ALSO, a big part of my style is taking photos of my family and friends, framing them, and scattering them all over the house.  Oh how I love my family and friends!!  "My style" is having a place where my grandchildren can play and not worry about breaking something...it's a place where family and friends can come and feel cared for.   A place of safety ... a place of joy ... a place of rest!

Some time ago, I read an article stating that you can tell a person's personality by the way their home is decorated and how they dress.  I hope that is true about me.  I'm always a work in progress not caring about the latest fashion trend but playing with "my look" as I get the itch.  I love to get dressed up and have my husband say, "wow."  I also love my sweats & jeans and digging in the dirt!

When I married at 19 I knew nothing about design of any kind.  I'm not sure what happened but it seems like all of a sudden I found design a challenge and a rewarding experience.  I think it all goes back to my paper doll world as a child and decorating homes for the dolls using shoe boxes.  It goes back to a child filled with imagination and a love of adventure.  It goes back to a child who used an old treadle sewing machine to design some clothes...some turned out good some, well, let's just say, not so good.  It is my love of people that makes me as comfortable with the most famous of people or the man in the fishing boat.  I am who I am and "my style" is  ME!

Dottie and Zeus

Who are you and what's your style?   It's always fun to think about.  No one can be "you" but you and that's a precious gift we've all been given.  We're all special!!

It's going to be c-o-l-d here the end of the week and I haven't finished mulching my perennials and tender plants so I'd best get busy.  Michael promised me he would help me tomorrow if I would just go get the bags today.  I'll just take him up on that.  Since he reads my blogs, it'll be a good reminder!!  Have a great day everyone ... I am!

         



Family - For Better or Worse

Lend Me A Tenor

Last Thursday night, Michael and I had the opportunity to attend the theatre production of Ken Ludwig's Lend Me A Tenor.  It was a light-hearted play with lots of action.  It's always enjoyable to laugh and leave the cares of the world behind us on our nights out on the town.  As parent's, of course, it's always fun to wait for that daughter to appear and watch as she blossoms in her career as an actress.

Michael's daughter, Stephanie, is a worker-bee by day and an actress by night and weekends.  Stephanie was excellent in her roll of Diana, a (ahem) rather promiscuous young vamp.  Her boyfriend, Chase, played the lead role of Max.  It was nice to see Stephanie again and meet Chase.  We were going out to  dinner with them; however, the play ended about 10:30pm; and, you know what happens to those over 63 ... we turn into pumpkins and head for the nearest bed!  We will get together before the holidays and will hopefully be able to convince Chase to play his guitar so we can sing some Christmas carols!  Having an actress and an actor in the family adds that touch of excitement!  They both are great at what they do....entertain!!

FAMILY FOR BETTER OR WORSE: 

Family is what it is.  A mixture of people joined together by ancestry and marriage.  "Normal" varies from family to family and most times "normal" whether good or bad is carried from generation to generation.  I am sorry to say that in my family dysfunction reigned and so much was just plain ignored.  No one protected the children!

I am sure you've heard of generational curses and, then, there are blessings.  I am grateful for both because when I think about the generational curses, it has given me a chance to change the course and do things a better way.  Blessings speak for themselves.  Yea!  In one of my Bibles, on the inside on the bottom left corner, I've written, "Lord, thank you for the bad times."  All I know is that after a storm comes a beautiful rainbow and blessings are so much more appreciated.

Our lives are an accumulation of peaks and valleys ... Our children, grandchildren, and their spouses and significant others are all so different.  They really are special and add that bit of variety to our lives.  Michael has 2 daughters, 2 grandchildren,  a son-in-law, and, now, Steph's new boyfriend.  I have 3 children, 6 grandchildren, 2 son-in-laws and 1 daughter-in-law.  Of course, we need to add Mom Seidler to the bunch!  We're one of those common entities now called a blended family.  Life is never dull.  Each of us are at different stages in our lives and definitely works in progress.  I think we're all going in the same direction though which is great!!  As parents, Michael and I are proud of "our" family and all that entails.  It's nice to be able to "let go and let God."

I am deliberately not telling stories about our adult children which isn't because there aren't any tales to tell.  I just feel that they are adults and they have their own stories to tell.  I hope someday they will.  At some point each of them has faced challenges and have overcome some pretty big obstacles.  I feel that as we overcome our challenges it is our responsibility to help those who have or are walking down the same paths.  I learned in the late 1990's that some secrets are best left alone yet when those secrets are dysfunctional and hurtful, they need to be exposed, the hurt dug out, and the wound healed.  To put band-aids on hurt and pain never works...I am a good example!  It's taken me a long time to move beyond the blanks in my childhood and the pain of trauma and abuse.

It always helps to try to understand the "whys" BUT I also needed to move from denial and getting angry with my abusers before I could forgive, find peace and move on.  Without light and honesty so many cover their pain with alcohol, drugs, and addictions of all sorts. In my case, it was doing the same thing over and over again in relationships and expecting different results.  Stupidity!  Funny thing is that I knew my choices were stupid but I seemed almost drawn to self-destruction.  I am so grateful that now I am finding peace and happiness.  It took a lot of work to get here but it was worth it.

I received a note from my son today.  He's always been wise beyond his years.  It is my prayer and hope that he will share his story ... either on his own blog or on mine.  He is an inspiration not only to me and his family but to others as well.  It is difficult to share your life so openly for all to dissect and judge.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.  What can mortal man do to me?"~~Psalm 56:3-4

What about people who write tell all books and blogs?  I guess if you are famous, it sells a lot of books and brings more publicity.  Is it an eye for an eye?  Gossip?  Hate?  Each person has their own perception of an event.  As I began to dig into my own life and why I made the choices I made I realized that each of us are responsible for our choices, actions and have to face the consequences.  Ouch!  The tongue is a mighty sword and words spoken can never be taken back.  As a Christian I know that God forgives me and accepts me where I am...I also know that there can be pain as apologies are made, amends attempted, and hopes for reconciliation are carried at the forefront of the heart.  Sometimes, things just plain have to be accepted and I have needed to just move on.  Facing my demons was not for the faint of heart - especially when it comes to family!

Families are about love and hate; joy and sorrow; fear and confidence...I could go on and on.  Growing up, especially as a teenager, I knew there was something dreadfully wrong with me.  As an adult, I knew there was something dreadfully wrong with me.  The sad part was that I had made a family that was dysfunctional "perfect" and I was the black sheep.  I lived a life afraid to disappoint the people around me which could result in rejection.  The good news came when I knew in my heart that I was NOT the black sheep ... I was a victim of abuse and trauma.  When I could connect my mind and heart with light and truth, the light bulb went off and it was like breaking out of a prison!

I sing praises of freedom ... I stand outside and truly feel the forces of nature ... I love and feel every possible emotion - I am no longer numb.  I take risks in trying new things and meeting new people.  I don't worry about what people will think of me.  My conscience is clear and when I lay my head on the pillow at night, I sleep peacefully.

"Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."~~Psalm 51:10

As I began my journey and started journaling, most times I would end my journal entry with the above scripture.  God needed to clean house in my heart before he could bring forth my newness of spirit.  I'm grateful He did.

I hope that you are at peace and are rid of baggage you've carried around for years.  I wish you love and joy ... Talk to you tomorrow ...  Blessings and Love ...

I think my family is telling me that it's time for bed!!