My Father & His Family- the Man before the War




My Dad & his new Ford - before WWII

 

You may ask, if your father abused you so badly emotionally, why are you writing about him in a loving way today?  Well, there was a time when, I was so angry at him, I was mad that I didn't have a dad who loved me like some of my friends did.  I was mad that he called me bad names and ignored me. I was angry that he didn't protect me.  I was angry that when I got a pet I loved, it would disappear.   It hurt, and it hurt badly.  It wasn't fair...where was God?  For a girl, a dad is a pretty important part of her life.  It took a long time to acknowledge the emotional abuse, go through the grieving process, then move on.  It is only by the grace of God that I was able to move on and love him.  He too, had his life stolen from him in the years that he served as a Staff Sargent on the front lines in the European Theatre in WWII.  Now, I pray for him and look forward to hugging him in heaven and telling him, "Dad, it's ok...it really is."



My Father Just Before Leaving for the War



"Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you."~~Deuteronomy 5:16



Grandfather Carl, Helen, Lorna, My Father

 My father was called a "young whipper snapper" in his youth (especially by his Uncle Johnny).  He was a quiet boy and man but always ready to have fun.  He was born in January 1917 to Margaret Torguson Pederson and Carl August Pederson.  He was born at his Aunt Betsy's home and I am fortunate that I got to see the room where he was born and how beautiful that room was.  It was also in this home that I first became enthralled with nutcrackers.  I used to walk by that house often wondering if I would ever have a grand house like that one.  Aunt Betsy was a little bitty lovely lady.  In fact, all my Grandmother Maggie's brothers and sisters were big on warmth and low on height!  :o)  A visit to any of their homes meant being treated as royalty....the coffee was always ready and homemade cookies ready for dunking (kids got Kool Aid for dunking).  Maybe that's why I am still big on sauces and dunking!



My Father in his 20's



My father was the baby of the family and had 1 brother and 5 sisters.  His father developed Sleeping Sickness and died when my father was very young.  He quit school in the 10th grade to help out at home and had to grow up pretty quickly.  When my father talked about those days, he didn't feel like life had cheated him or that he was entitled to more.  For every goal he set for himself, he patted himself on the back and set another one.  Even though he worked on the railroad, he loved dressing up in a suit and tie.  I remember him with his classic winter coat and fedora hat.  I thought my dad looked pretty dapper.  He was my Grandmother Maggie's pride and joy.

For the early settlers of our country, hardship was just a way of life.  I think that's why they had picnics, cherished visits from the pastors who went from village to village to give encouragement and talked with their neighbors.  The ladies had quilting bees, got together to make food prepared for winter months and delivered each other's babies.  The men had barn raisings, and worked from sun up to sun down on their farms to provide for their families.  I laugh because most of my father's brothers and sisters were born in November or December.  Not much to do in Minnesota on those long cold days and nights!  :o)  Grandmother Maggie had 7 children almost exactly 2 years apart!

 One thing that I found out about my father's family was their love of music.  His sister Alida could play a mean piano and I've seen photos of my father with his banjo.  Visits with neighbors, friends and family were  regular events.  The ladies also got together to support each other through Bible Studies called "Circles."   Those Norwegian ladies could REALLY cook and bake!!  As a child I can still remember the smells coming from the basement of the church when they put on their smorgasbords.   Most of the people in the town showed up to savor the delicacies.

My father never stopped helping his mother and sister, Alida.  He loved his family and served with a smile.  He worked hard and did what it took to be an exemplary employee at the Soo Line Railroad.  He was quite intelligent and a good conversationalist.  I laugh because I realize how much I am like him before the war.  He was very creative, detail oriented, and caring.  He was well liked and a part of a huge family (his mother had 14 brothers and sisters).  Being raised to work for what he wanted, gave him a sense of accomplishment  (how 'bout that car he earned - see above photo).  The love of his Norwegian family gave him a sense of where he came from and where he fit in the grand scheme of things. It is sad to think that the Norwegian way of life gradually died with the death of my grandmother but no one can take away the memories.



Grandmother Maggie

 Traditions were either Norwegian or Lutheran Church based.  People that immigrated from different parts of Europe, England, Germany, etc. seemed to settle close together - probably because that way they could communicate in their native language.  My father's family immigrated from Norway about 1851.  My great grandparents, Knud & Ragnhild Torguson and Anton and Caroline Pederson never spoke English but all their children did.  On Christmas, my grandmother would get a gallon of Mogan David Wine as a gift from her son, Lester.  It was a really big honor to give the Christmas toasts.  Adults were given wine in juice glasses...children were given wine in shot glasses.  The rest of the year, there was no alcohol of any kind in grandmother's home.  There was an aura about my grandmother and I never remember her saying an unkind word about anyone.  She had the gentlest soul and there was so question about who was Lord of her life. 

My father's family went through so many hardships...the severeness of Grandfather Carl's illness and my grandmother's breast cancer.   She had them leave one breast so that she could feed my father.  There was no health insurance at that time and doctor's bills were paid by the family.  The family farm was sold after my grandfather died and my grandmother moved into town.  She lived on welfare and it was common for townsfolk to barter one talent for someone elses.  The government provided commodities and she was so grateful.  The Torguson-Pederson family took any work they could get without complaining.  My grandmother was a seamstress by trade so her family was clothed fashionably.  It seems in learning about my family tree, that the roots went deep - my father's family was strong in heart and did what they needed to do with the talents and tools they had.

      

I really liked my Father's family.  They were God-loving,  family-loving folks that were so grateful to be Americans.  By today's standards they would be considered very poor but I will never forget my Grandmother Maggie telling me to be grateful and take care of what I had.  The slanted floors in her home went unnoticed but her graciousness was cherished by all.  I loved the smells in her home the minute I walked in the back porch!

Last Tuesday, I had the blessing of watching my 4 year old grandson, Nicholas.  As we walked up and down the halls of the hospital, I would tell him stories about my Grandma Maggie and when I was little like him.  He would grin...our children need to know their heritage.  Nicholas is a part of the Torguson-Pederson family and got some pretty darn good genes from them.  Children need to know that with hardship comes the bonding of the family.  They need to know how to be gracious and have good manners. 

My Father &  Mother Before The War

My father loved to dance as did my mother.  As I have said in previous blogs, I have their love letters and sure do cherish them.  I wish I had a movie of them that I could watch recording the days of their early courtship.  Between their own large families (my mother had 5 brothers and sisters) and friends, life was good for them.  I can see why they fell in love - in so many ways they were well matched.

November 11 is Veterans' Day...it is also my brother's birthday.  I will be writing about my father's part in WWII that day.  I am proud that my father fought for freedom and our country.  It just saddens me to realize what it did to him as a person.  The war played into my father's change after the war as well as my mother's.   Trauma, anger, and depression blurs the vision of reality, poisons the blood, is the root of many diseases and cause of wrong decisions leading to __________ (you fill in the blank).

Many of you may have family who served in the war (any of them) that suffered emotionally.  I pray that you will give them grace...


"The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control."  Galatians 22:1


 Let's meditate on that today!  God bless!   I haven't mentioned much about Khelsea (my Pomeranian) aka Queen Bee...but, anyway, Khelsea wishes you a good day too!




Khelsea aka Queen Bee (She's the Alpha Dog of the Pack)