Family - For Better or Worse

Lend Me A Tenor

Last Thursday night, Michael and I had the opportunity to attend the theatre production of Ken Ludwig's Lend Me A Tenor.  It was a light-hearted play with lots of action.  It's always enjoyable to laugh and leave the cares of the world behind us on our nights out on the town.  As parent's, of course, it's always fun to wait for that daughter to appear and watch as she blossoms in her career as an actress.

Michael's daughter, Stephanie, is a worker-bee by day and an actress by night and weekends.  Stephanie was excellent in her roll of Diana, a (ahem) rather promiscuous young vamp.  Her boyfriend, Chase, played the lead role of Max.  It was nice to see Stephanie again and meet Chase.  We were going out to  dinner with them; however, the play ended about 10:30pm; and, you know what happens to those over 63 ... we turn into pumpkins and head for the nearest bed!  We will get together before the holidays and will hopefully be able to convince Chase to play his guitar so we can sing some Christmas carols!  Having an actress and an actor in the family adds that touch of excitement!  They both are great at what they do....entertain!!

FAMILY FOR BETTER OR WORSE: 

Family is what it is.  A mixture of people joined together by ancestry and marriage.  "Normal" varies from family to family and most times "normal" whether good or bad is carried from generation to generation.  I am sorry to say that in my family dysfunction reigned and so much was just plain ignored.  No one protected the children!

I am sure you've heard of generational curses and, then, there are blessings.  I am grateful for both because when I think about the generational curses, it has given me a chance to change the course and do things a better way.  Blessings speak for themselves.  Yea!  In one of my Bibles, on the inside on the bottom left corner, I've written, "Lord, thank you for the bad times."  All I know is that after a storm comes a beautiful rainbow and blessings are so much more appreciated.

Our lives are an accumulation of peaks and valleys ... Our children, grandchildren, and their spouses and significant others are all so different.  They really are special and add that bit of variety to our lives.  Michael has 2 daughters, 2 grandchildren,  a son-in-law, and, now, Steph's new boyfriend.  I have 3 children, 6 grandchildren, 2 son-in-laws and 1 daughter-in-law.  Of course, we need to add Mom Seidler to the bunch!  We're one of those common entities now called a blended family.  Life is never dull.  Each of us are at different stages in our lives and definitely works in progress.  I think we're all going in the same direction though which is great!!  As parents, Michael and I are proud of "our" family and all that entails.  It's nice to be able to "let go and let God."

I am deliberately not telling stories about our adult children which isn't because there aren't any tales to tell.  I just feel that they are adults and they have their own stories to tell.  I hope someday they will.  At some point each of them has faced challenges and have overcome some pretty big obstacles.  I feel that as we overcome our challenges it is our responsibility to help those who have or are walking down the same paths.  I learned in the late 1990's that some secrets are best left alone yet when those secrets are dysfunctional and hurtful, they need to be exposed, the hurt dug out, and the wound healed.  To put band-aids on hurt and pain never works...I am a good example!  It's taken me a long time to move beyond the blanks in my childhood and the pain of trauma and abuse.

It always helps to try to understand the "whys" BUT I also needed to move from denial and getting angry with my abusers before I could forgive, find peace and move on.  Without light and honesty so many cover their pain with alcohol, drugs, and addictions of all sorts. In my case, it was doing the same thing over and over again in relationships and expecting different results.  Stupidity!  Funny thing is that I knew my choices were stupid but I seemed almost drawn to self-destruction.  I am so grateful that now I am finding peace and happiness.  It took a lot of work to get here but it was worth it.

I received a note from my son today.  He's always been wise beyond his years.  It is my prayer and hope that he will share his story ... either on his own blog or on mine.  He is an inspiration not only to me and his family but to others as well.  It is difficult to share your life so openly for all to dissect and judge.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you.  In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.  What can mortal man do to me?"~~Psalm 56:3-4

What about people who write tell all books and blogs?  I guess if you are famous, it sells a lot of books and brings more publicity.  Is it an eye for an eye?  Gossip?  Hate?  Each person has their own perception of an event.  As I began to dig into my own life and why I made the choices I made I realized that each of us are responsible for our choices, actions and have to face the consequences.  Ouch!  The tongue is a mighty sword and words spoken can never be taken back.  As a Christian I know that God forgives me and accepts me where I am...I also know that there can be pain as apologies are made, amends attempted, and hopes for reconciliation are carried at the forefront of the heart.  Sometimes, things just plain have to be accepted and I have needed to just move on.  Facing my demons was not for the faint of heart - especially when it comes to family!

Families are about love and hate; joy and sorrow; fear and confidence...I could go on and on.  Growing up, especially as a teenager, I knew there was something dreadfully wrong with me.  As an adult, I knew there was something dreadfully wrong with me.  The sad part was that I had made a family that was dysfunctional "perfect" and I was the black sheep.  I lived a life afraid to disappoint the people around me which could result in rejection.  The good news came when I knew in my heart that I was NOT the black sheep ... I was a victim of abuse and trauma.  When I could connect my mind and heart with light and truth, the light bulb went off and it was like breaking out of a prison!

I sing praises of freedom ... I stand outside and truly feel the forces of nature ... I love and feel every possible emotion - I am no longer numb.  I take risks in trying new things and meeting new people.  I don't worry about what people will think of me.  My conscience is clear and when I lay my head on the pillow at night, I sleep peacefully.

"Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."~~Psalm 51:10

As I began my journey and started journaling, most times I would end my journal entry with the above scripture.  God needed to clean house in my heart before he could bring forth my newness of spirit.  I'm grateful He did.

I hope that you are at peace and are rid of baggage you've carried around for years.  I wish you love and joy ... Talk to you tomorrow ...  Blessings and Love ...

I think my family is telling me that it's time for bed!!