2 Days to Ringing In the New Year!

Come on in out of the wind and sit a spell.  It's supposed to be in the low 70's today.  Woo Hoo!

On January 1, 2011 at 12:01am you can toss this year's calendar.  No doubt it is has served you well, but it is virtually worthless now that 2010 has run it's course.  Gotta get all my birthdays and special events entered ... I live by that crazy day timer!

While this year's days and weeks may be history, the steps of growth I have taken are my legacy.  My priorities have changed, my attitude towards people and life has improved, and my handicaps are less frightening.  I've learned to be faithful and fruitful in my life ... to do the best I can ... and, to be on call when needed.

Is life the way I want it to be?  Absolutely not ... I have learned to be content with where I am yet always moving forward.  I take nothing for granted!  I tell my story from my own point of view and take responsibility for my choices.  Oh, some of the consequences have had sharp edges and I wondered at times if I could go one step forward ... then, I did take that next step.  I have spent so many years being the perfect everything to everyone until one day it just clicked ... I am one person on this road of life with no map or directions.  I am a work in progress and that is OK.

I have thought a lot about the little casa the past few days.  I have missed spending time there and visiting with Mom S.  Our little get a way was almost finished when a fluke of a cracked water pipe set the renovations back a couple months.  The kitchen cabinets are now in and Lupe and his worker bees are hard at work doing the water damage repairs and prepping for the cabinets.  We are so fortunate ... the original wood floors have survived another deep sanding!  Yea!  This project has taught me a lot about patience and even more about dealing honestly with people.  Sometimes, in life, we just have to start over!

My garden is alive with Winter color.  I'm always sad when the trees lose their leaves and the gardens look so barren.  I decided to do a little research on shrubs that offer Winter color and planted a few.  So far so good...

As I gaze at my garden I love to "wool gather."  I was talking with someone the other day and we were discussing sincerity. "Perhaps you've heard about the man who took what he sincerely thought was aspirin.  Unfortunately, he was sincerely wrong and he became sincerely dead." (From The Daily Walk Bible)  So many of us do or say something with sincerity only to find out that we were wrong.  What then?  Do we blame, cover up, make excuses?  Sorry to say, I've been guilty of all of the above.  Actions can be sincere  but when they were sincerely wrong, they're still wrong.  I am grateful that I believe in a God of second chances and have learned to stand up, knees shaking, and say, "I'm sorry."  Sometimes, it's received and sometimes it hasn't been.  But...in doing my part, I can rest in peace.  My conscience works overtime you know!!  Throw back from my days of having to be that perfect little girl ... Perfectness is OUT THE DOOR for me in 2011.

God made me a free spirit with a love for people ... all kinds of people.  My mother was afraid of black people and sometimes I would cringe when she spoke so hatefully of them.  I think because there were so few African Americans where she (and myself as well) grew up that they were just different.  When I left home at 17, I was introduced to a world of different ethnic groups and grew to love them all.  In fact, my nickname of Dottie was given to be by a Hispanic lady that I worked with at the hospital in Arizona.  She taught me to like Mexican food (we cooked tortillas in the autoclaves!) and her faith was so amazing to me.  So many of the people who worked at the hospital were Hispanic or Indian and so gracious to a gringo from the north country.  I was way too skinny for them and they were always trying to fatten me up.  My daughter was born on the shift that I worked and, oh my goodness, did she ever get a welcoming party.  As much as I thought that Yuma, Arizona was the armpit of the world, I was sad to leave there in 1968.  Why?  I was so loved there!

As this year comes to a close is there some love you need to spread around?  It only takes a minute to send a card, make a phone call or give someone a smile and hug.  I will end this year with:

"May God who gives patience, steadiness, and encouragement help you to live in complete harmony with each other  -- each with the attitude of Christ toward the other.  And then all of us can praise the Lord together with one voice, giving glory to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."~~Romans 15:5-6

I will be getting ready tomorrow for the post Christmas/New Years pajama party here on New Year's Day...  What a great way to start the New Year ... Family and a whole lot of love!!  I am signing off for this year and looking forward to next years challenges and gifts!

Happy New Year to all of you who have followed my blog so faithfully.  Keep tuned ... let's take on life together!  Oh yes, how could I forget???  You are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

            



Happy New Year from my Texas grandkids ...
 Nicholas, Brittany, Ryan, and Zachary!!
What a blessing & inspiration
they are to me!!



The Words I Would Say...

It's a great day in the Lone Star State!  Rain has come in mists and torrents ... it doesn't matter which because we've really needed the rain.  Besides, it makes my Winter gardens sing!!  The leaves are almost gone on the trees except for these spiny little balls that hang off the Sweet Gum trees.  Guess I will have Christmas a bit longer as these balls remind me of ornaments.  I just love walking around my gardens checking out their well-being.  Something seems to change with every walk.  I am an outdoor person who would be perfectly content living in a cabin in the woods by a lake.  Oh heaven on earth!!

A couple weeks ago, my son came for a visit and I gave him his birthday and Christmas presents as well as my Christmas letter to him.  It was one of those visits that all mothers cherish when they truly connect with their children.  This morning Tommy emailed me The Words I Would Say sung by the Sidewalk Profits.  He said that he could hear me singing it to him.  I listened to it on U Tube & I must say it did touch my heart.  I am quite a sentimental old sap so by saying it touched my heart meant that I had tears rolling down my face.  I am going to try to add it to my blog...  Computers are not my specialty so it takes me awhile to get something down pat.  I hope that it will touch your heart as it did mine.

I have been sleeping way too much and talked with my health coach this morning.  She gave me some welcome information on dealing with Fibromyalgia, pain and sleep.  As many people with Fibromyalgia, I think I am getting my days and nights mixed up.  I love my talks with her and feel so refreshed when we end our conversations.  I thought about my oldest daughter, Jill.  Jill loved to sleep...when she knew she had to get up for school, she would literally fling herself out of bed and on to the floor.  I used to stand in the door of her bedroom and watch ... it really was comical and suited her free spirited personality.  Now that it's been cold, I snuggle down in my flannel sheets and just want to cuddle up and go back to sleep when I wake up around 7:30am!  That's a problem being disabled, I don't have to get up and I give in to my feelings.  I need more focus and purpose in life...something to look forward to!  2011 is just around the corner which is always a good time to make a "to do" list AND find an accountability partner.  If I don't do that, I fail miserably.

I am on Day 15 of my 40 days of prayer ... Faith Comes by Hearing.  Where my faith came from I'm not sure because it's always been at the forefront of my life and a part of my spiritual growth over the years.  I was learning Bible verses at 4 and although there have been times in my life that I have drifted away from God, something has always brought me back.  One thing that I do know is that going to church and taking a pastor's word for a Bible verse isn't the same as reading the Bible for myself.  Kinda stupid to follow someone you don't know.  From the time I was tiny, God's Word was deposited into my heart and in tough times, it was Him that ultimately protected and provided for me.  I am uplifted when I go to church to worship with fellow believers.  I am uplifted when I pray and study the Bible.  I am not a Lone Ranger and found wisdom and love by having that demonstrated to me by friends and family members.  Seems like every season of my life, God places someone new in it to enlighten and help me grow.  I am so grateful for those people.  Are there angels amongst us?  You bet!

My son and his family are coming over Saturday morning for a post Christmas breakfast.  I asked that they come in their jammies so we can have a nice relaxing morning.  Zachary and Nicholas have had the stomach flu twice in the past few weeks ... I haven't had my flu shot this year so I am hoping to escape the dreaded sitting on the throne with a pail between my legs.  Ughhhh...  After they leave, I will begin taking down the Christmas decorations.  The house always seems so bare with all the glitz and glitter put away.

I can't believe that 2010 is nearly gone.  I wonder what 2011 will bring?  A New Year and a New Slate to write on that's what!!  I am filled with the joy of life and hope that you will join me next year on my road to wholeness!  God bless you all and remember ... you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!  Honest!

My Blog in 2010...



12/26/09 Snowfall in North Texas

 Good Morning!  It's a grand day in North Texas!!  It's chilly but isn't that what Winter brings?  If we're lucky we'll get a little snow this season.  When you don't experience something every day, when "it" happens it's always a special treat.  There is something special about looking up at the sky and feeling those fluffy flakes of snow on my face!!  For now, I am still raking up leaves falling from the trees!

I'd never really heard of what a blog actually does and is ... therefore, I entered this world of communication completely blind.  My purpose was to gift others with hope and determination in their pathway to wholeness.  In reviewing my blogs and the emails received, I realized that my blog was way more than just an internet highway.  Some years ago, the pastor of the church I was attending gave a sermon on leaving a legacy.  Time comes and goes yet unless something is written down, the memory stops.  In digging into my heritage, there were names but what about the names?  Who were they really as people...what did they care about?  Why were they the way they were and how did their lives enfold?  I've always been a curious person and I have always wanted to understand...  I want my family to really know me and what I am about.  I want to leave a legacy of truth!



Jane & Madison - Cheerleading Champion

 My blog has been a highway of communication between my daughter, Jane, and I.  Warts, bumps and all she has come to love me more than just as a mother ... she has come to love every part of me ... the dark parts and my walk to freedom.  It's opened many areas where we can talk, really talk.  She's an amazing person, a loving wife and an understanding mother and caring daughter.  When you look at us physically, we don't look much like one another.  Yet, when you look at our hearts, we are very much alike.  I love spending time with her ... she's so much fun to be around!  Yesterday, she and Madison were shopping and spending a special day together.  Oh, I would have loved to tag along ... they have so much wonderful energy!!



Tommy, Angie & Zachary

 Another relationship strengthened by my blog has been that of a mother and son.  For so many years, I was a single mom raising a boy ... I didn't know the first thing about boys and I am grateful for all the help I received!  We've always been close but my blog has brought the best out of him as well.  I hope that he will write in one of my blogs  because he, too, has an amazing story to tell.  I am so proud of the path he has taken with his life.



Brrrr...Baby it's cold outside!

 Many of my readers have wondered about my 5th marriage.  Was it like the others?  Is it like the others?  Maybe Michael will also write in one of my blogs as he has a story to tell as well.  I cannot speak for him.  I can say that he has been a God-send in so many areas of my life.  You see, my marriage to Michael was the beginning of the unraveling of the twisted parts of my life and it is in this marriage that both of us have found healing and acceptance.

Most of my close friends and family also know that I have another daughter, Jill - my first born.  Jill looks a lot like me  - for me, to see her is to look in the mirror at me 20 years younger.  Jill went to live with her father at the time of our divorce and, at a time when girls really need a mother, I wasn't there for her.  There was so much that I didn't know about what she experienced and how she viewed life.  There was a period of time in the early 1990's when she and her husband came back to Texas.  We were so close and life was joyously filled with love.  Now, we are estranged.  I understand the hows, whys, and how comes, but it is still a painful place in my life.  In order to reconcile relationships, there must be a lot of grace, forgiveness, and a rebuilding of trust.  For those of you reading my blogs that have strained relationships with children, you will understand my pain just as I understand yours.

As 2010 ends, I am so grateful for my faith; my friends; family; and, readers.  I am grateful for the opportunity to tell my story and to be of support to those who have chosen to walk with me.  I have discovered new family and love getting to know them.  Each has their own story and all have become men and women that I admire.  I come from good stock ...  overcomers who have taken adversity and who have become stronger.

It is Day 14 of my 40 days of 40 minutes of prayer ...Christ is my source and strength!  By myself I have been able to do nothing.  When Christ came alongside me and helped me in my areas of weakness, I gained strength.

"I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me."~~ Philippians 4:13

By focusing on these words and allowing them to settle in my heart and mind, I feel revived and refreshed.  Jesus is my strength and He will give you His strength every time you call upon Him in faith.

"Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."~~Philippians 4:6-8

Right now, I am not trying to make something happen.  I am simply seeking God's will and direction for every area of my life, depending upon His strength and not on my own. 

Signing off this morning ... It's dark and dreary with a few sprinkles of rain coming down.  Yet, all is right in my life.   How about yours?  Remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!

     

Time...Past, Present & Future

Goodness, Christmas has come and gone and we are looking forward to bringing in the New Year!  Last Wednesday, I pinched a nerve in my back while putting a case of water into Lily (Lily is my red VW bug!) so most of the Christmas holiday I was flat on my back.  Felt much better yesterday and hopefully I am back in the swing of things!  In the meantime, I missed a festive Christmas Eve celebration at my friend Wendy's home as well as going to visit with Mom S on Christmas Day.  Michael had to do the honors by himself this year.  Bummers!  This getting older is certainly NOT for sissies!!

Today, like most folks, I was thinking about the New Year and what I want to accomplish and savor.  I have had gazillions of things tossing around in my mind.  I think I need to put them all down on paper and then cross them off one by one.  As a Christian, I know that my God is a God of divine order which helps me to define what is important ... God, Michael, family, friends and my work of speaking hope to abused men, women, and children through my writing.

My past is so important because it has given me my foundation and defined my behaviors.  If you have followed my blogs from the beginning, you know that I am a survivor of emotional, sexual, and physical abuse.  Do I look back on my past with anger and frustration?  Sometimes I do and I think that is good because it fuels my fire to stand up for what I believe.  As I relive the seasons of my past, I realize how very far I've come and how grateful I am for my sane mind and caring nature.  I've also come to realize that the past is just that ... the past, not the present and definitely representative of the future.  I have taken time to cut out the boils crusted over by time and move in a new direction.  I can tell my story with peace and forgiveness towards those that hurt me.  I am not 1 or 20 or 30 ... I am 64 and finally able to make decisions that are good for me.  I've found that when I am making a decision, if it is unselfishly good for me, it is also good for others as well.  Jesus says we are to treat others as we treat ourselves ... not more than nor less than but as ourselves.  Took me a long while to get that straight.

The present is my "now" ... if I take care of my todays, my tomorrows will be okay.  I am continuing down the road doing my 40 days of 40 minutes of prayer.  I've done this study several times before and each time, although the study is the same, it has gifted me in different ways.  Today my study was on surrendering my expectations.  I examined the feelings and emotions that I have had during the past 13 days.  It surprised me to know that when I have negative feelings and emotions, my focus has slipped away from giving God glory; and, once again, I am focusing on myself.  Aughh...just when I thought I was doing better!  I am back in the saddle once again and moving forward doing what I can "this day".  I am praying that I will be cleansed from negative feelings.  I pray that I will seek first the kingdom of God and develop an even deeper intimate relationship with Him.  I pray that I would be kept from being caught up in the trap of my own selfish wants.  Go God!!

The future is just that...the future.  I may live many years and I may be gone tomorrow.  Who knows but God what tomorrow brings.  Can I change the future?  No, God tells me that my days are numbered.  However, by what I do, think, and say, I can influence the future.  I have been a control freak and it is difficult to let go and let God do His work.

I started my blog in October 2010.  To be transparent is tough at best.  I put myself "out there" to be criticized, judged, welcomed and maybe, just maybe, I can help someone realize that covering up the hurts of the past only leads to an infestation of the soul and heart ... and, not in a good way.  When, I lived at the Women's Shelter for 30 days, the counselor suggested that I write about my stay there.  At the time, it was too raw, too close ... I needed to heal some of the abrasions and stabilize my thinking.  Little did I know that it would not be closure of my yesterdays but a beginning of painful refinement.  Every time I thought that I was done with the slicing and dicing of my life, a new chapter would open and I would have to make a choice.  I chose wholeness.

As 2010 comes to a close, I will review my blogs and move on.  I never know what my blog will be on until I sit down at my computer.  I  trust God with my assignment.  Hamilton Elf will be carefully put away until he helps me with next Christmas.  Plans are being made for him to be featured in his own story book.  I am praying for the right illustrator to do the drawings.  The story has already been written in our journey together this holiday season!

It's 5:55 PM Texas time and time to sign off and enjoy a nice fire and a movie.  Hamilton Elf and I wish you the best that life can bring!  Come on 2011!!  Always remember that you are loved...YA YOU!!

Oh by gosh by golly, it's time for mistletoe and holly!

Countdown continues to Christmas!  Hamilton Elf and I are reporting that the skies in North Texas are overcast and brrr it's rather chilly outside!  Hard to believe that it almost hit 85 degrees yesterday.  I love being outside and decided that a fire in the chiminea was just what the doctor ordered!  The pinion wood from New Mexico smells so wonderful!  The leaves continue to fall and I continue to rake!  Soon the trees with take on a new beauty with the branches being so visible!

Time for holly and mistletoe!

One of my favorite crooners is Frank Sinatra.  As I was sitting here at my computer this morning, my mind took me to a Christmas Special when he sang "oh by gosh, by golly, it's time for mistletoe and holly..."  My granddaughter posted on Facebook last week that she couldn't get certain songs out of her mind ... totally understood.  Guess that's why we are to be so careful about what we feast our eyes upon and listen to.

I love the traditional Christmas Carols don't you?  I realize that the old must make way for the new but sometimes I'm just not getting the rap carols and the new morality where anything goes...

40 days of 40 minutes of prayer:  It's been a challenge not so much that I haven't prayed but this morning when I opened my journal, I realized that I didn't give God that first 40 minutes of my day yesterday.  Since I had made that covenant with God, I felt really sad that I hadn't lived up to my part of the covenant.  I decided to read Day 7 and keep on going.  By the time I finished, I still felt a little down on myself.  I flipped the page to Day 8 and guess what it said?  "Satan will try to steal your time with God."  I had a good excuse; however, the enemy was trying to keep me from moving forward.  I was allowing Satan to attack me with condemnation and the temptation to just quit and do my study at a time when I was less busy.  Freeda Bowers reminded me that not only had God invited me to participate in this 40 day encounter with Him but that He would give me the grace to complete it.  I needed to confidently trust Him to navigate me through every obstacle and distraction that came my way.  I think the thing that touched me the most was that He was answering my prayers ... two people verified this without my asking!  Now that's confirmation at it's best!!

It's getting close to the end of the year and my Daily Walk Bible reading has me to the last 2 books of the Bible.  Today, I read Jude ... fight for the faith.  I love these short books that have so much meat in them.  The book ends with this verse:

"And now -- all glory to him who alone is God, who saves us through Jesus Christ our Lord; yes, splendor and majesty, all power and authority are his from the beginning; his they are and his they evermore shall be.  And he is able to keep you from slipping and falling away, and to bring you sinless and perfect, into his glorious presence with mighty shouts of everlasting joy.  Amen" ~~Jude 1:24-25

The wood pot is empty and it's time to go inside!

As you celebrate Christmas with your families and loved ones, I pray that you will steal a little kiss under the mistletoe and embrace the beauty of the red berried hollies!  You take care now ... and, remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

   

Let's Linger at the Manger!





Joyous Christmas greetings from the Sunny South!!  I'd heard several weeks ago that there was a possibility for snow this Christmas Eve.  Nah...I doubt it.  I was walking around barefoot doing a little gardening yesterday!  Today, I have kept a fire going in the chiminea ... how fun!  With Texas weather you never know exactly what is going to happen ... we can hope for some white fluffy stuff!


Nearly everyone remembers the Christmas Carol, Away In A Manger ... I thought about that today as I rearranged the nativity scene in the living room.  It has wooden figures starting with the babe in the manager and builds from there.  Love it!  When my kids used to spend Christmas Eve here, I'd bake a birthday cake for Jesus and Brittany, Zachary and Nicholas would love to put baby Jesus on the cake.  It was a way of bringing Christ into Christmas along with the packages that were waiting to be opened!  Sometimes, I just like to play with the nativity scene wondering where everyone stood or sat looking at the baby born to save the world.  Oh what a glorious night that must have been.  Seems like everyone is in such a rush these days ... no time to linger and savor all that there is to Christmas.  Then, it's over and on to the New Year...  What a shame!  My childrens' paternal grandfather always read the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas Eve.  That was new to me and I thought it was pretty neat ... it set the stage for a very merry Christmas Eve.  He was a fine man!

Saturday we met daughter, Stephanie, for lunch and exchanged Christmas gifts.  She is headed south this Christmas and was kind enough to take a box of gifts to Michael's daughter, Angie, and family.  We also took in Trade Days to check out the Christmas specials ... It's always fun to visit the different booths and search for that special treasure that we can't live without!  There was an author of children's books there for a book signing and it was great fun to talk to her about the book she wrote and her many awards.  She self-publishes and has an illustrator who lives close to her.  The closer the New Year gets, I am thinking more and more about two different books.  One about Hamilton Elf and one about "moi".  We'll just see what happens!


I have reconnected with several of my cousins from my father's side of the family.  My Aunt Helen who is 95 lives close to her daughter and I can't wait to get the card and photo promised.  My other Aunt Lorna is 97 ... longevity runs in female side of my father's family...the men weren't so lucky!  Cards from my cousins are coming in and they make me feel so warm inside.  They are good people and I am celebrating that Norwegian heritage that gave all of us such strength ... ask a cousin who their hero was and I'll bet Grandma Maggie is right up there!!  I sure am praying that I can make a trip to not only Florida in the New Year but also a trip to the north land.  I have lots of family that I want to visit with as well as some pretty awesome friends.


My 40 days of prayer has become such a special time.  I have found that as I give the first fruits of my day to the one who makes my life special, my day is filled with extra ordinary happenings.  I know that He is working behind the scenes to care for my provision and protection and that gives me peace.  My prayer list continues to grow and something inside of me is mellowing ...  3 John was my Bible reading today regarding fellowship with my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Our hospitality speaks volumes about our Christianity and being  ... other-oriented.  My father's family was always so warm and hospitable and I learned so much from them.  It didn't matter who you were, when you walked through their doors, you felt like you were in Heaven ...  There was coffee and cookies or often times a meal to share. ... there were smiles and hugs and stories to tell.  There was no way to have a bad day if you visited in one of their homes...Alida, Blanche, Eleanor, Lorna, and Helen.  What beautiful women they were and are!!


We received a call and the kitchen cabinets have arrived for the little casa.  I am hoping that the week after Christmas will find our contractor, Lupe, and his crew mighty busy.  I am ready for another quiet visit to soak in some small-town hospitality.  I've met some pretty wonderful people already!


My computer got a virus yesterday and is in bad shape.  I am using Michael's computer which is very complex compared to mine.  Funny how I get used to "things" being a certain way!  I am stumbling through my blog without access to my photos.  Computers .... I have a love hate relationship with them.

Mark Roberts Christmas Elf

Anyway, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ... everywhere I go ...  Santa hats are everywhere and I get a giggle every time I pass by a man, woman or child wearing one.  What a wonderful message!


Time is a ticking ... hope all of you are done shopping and ready for a Christmas that you can savor all year long ... and, don't forget to linger at the manger!


You are loved and prayed for...YA YOU!

I Am So Glad Each Christmas Eve!

"I Am So Glad Each Christmas Eve"
Countdown to Christmas continues...
Christmas greetings are being sent to you on this chilly Texas day.  My husband is reminding me that I need to finish up our Christmas letter and card ... I just may need to do one for New Years if I don't plunk myself down and "just do it!"  By the time I do my blog each day, my fingers need a rest!!  The flowers in my Winter gardens don't seem to mind the cold weather we've been having at night.  Those little pansies just keep on smiling!
 

"Jeg er sa glad hver Julekveld" A Norwegian Christmas Song

Jeg er sa glad hver Julekveld ("I Am So Glad Each Christmas Eve") was composed in 1859 by Peder Knudsen with lyrics by Marie Wexelsen.

This song was sung in Norwegian each Christmas Eve at the Lutheran church my family attended.  My grandmother spoke fluent Norwegian as her parents were Norwegian immigrants arriving in the United States around 1851.  She was so proud of her heritage; however, she impressed on her family the value of speaking English.  Her English was grammatically perfect with lots of uf da's inserted!  I know there's a real party going on in Heaven this Christmas! Those Norwegian ladies really knew how to cook and bake ... I miss the yearly gift of lefse although the flour tortilla here in Texas tastes pretty similar.

I wish you could see the stained glass windows in the church ... just imagine a snowy Christmas Eve with this sanctuary full of men, women and children all holding candles. The midnight service was always so moving.  I would go home excited about Santa's arrival and another day of festivities ahead of me.    We would sing and greet one another with love and good wishes!  I wonder if they still sing in Norwegian?   Anyway, I remember and it's a calming wonderful memory!!

I Am So Glad Each Christmas Eve - Norwegian Lyrics:

"Jeg er så glad hver julekveld,
for da ble Jesus født,
da lyste stjernen som en sol,
og engler sang så søtt.

Jeg er så glad hver julekveld,
da synger vi hans pris:
da åpner han for alle små
sitt søte paradis."

I Am So Glad Each Christmas Eve" - English Lyrics 

"I am so glad each Christmas Eve,
The night of Jesus' birth!
Then like the sun the Star shone forth,
And angels sang on earth.

I am so glad on Christmas Eve!
His praises then I sing;
He opens then for every child
The palace of the King."

Isn't it odd what the closets of our mind hold?  It has been amazing to me that once I got all the dirty stinky old clothes out of my closet, there was room for so many good memories.  It's almost like when I knew for sure that the Lord and I were going to be fast friends.  There was a gradual change then whammo, I really started to see, feel and think differently.  I was the same person but truly understood what it meant to be born again in Christ.  The old washed away leaving me squeaky clean!!  All because there was a baby born 2000+ years ago.



Love is having a partner who loves you just because!

My Bible reading today was 1 John 1-5 ... fellowship with God.  John was called the "beloved apostle."  After reading these chapters, I can sense his tenderness towards the believers of the day.

 "...let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them and show it by our actions.  Then we will know for sure, by our actions, that we are on God's side, and our consciences will be clear, even when we stand before the Lord."~~1 John 2:18-19

I heard a saying not long ago ... "Going to church makes you no more a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car."  John who knew firsthand the joy of fellowship with God, desired that his readers experience the same delightful walk of faith ...a walk characterized by obedience to the commands of God and selfless love within the family of God.  When Christians live in harmony there is love in abundance.

There is a common thread in the Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel on TV ... there is a need in the heart and love fills that need.  Do you know of a need this Christmas?  In all of our abundance, do we walk past your brother or sister leaving tears to flow?  I've found myself saying, "I'll pray for you" when what I should be saying is "what can I do?"  Walking the Christian talk is very difficult.  Do we really know the sorrow in a man's soul?

I had a friend that told me that she had a hard time being empathetic to others.  She wasn't able to see how she affected those around her.  When criticized, she became quite defensive and angry. She knew this was a problem for her at work and with family and friends; however, she didn't know how to fix it.  Friendships were quite self-serving and superficial.  She asked me how she could change and my only answer to her was to allow the Holy Spirit to work in her heart.  The lesson I took away from our conversations was to be more aware of my own superficiality and confess that before God.  We can become so blind to our own faults.  I think a lot about that lesson at Christmastime.

Brrr ... baby it's cold outside!  It gets cold here and the cold cuts to the bone!  I was looking at some photos of the snow blanketing the Midwest and almost (I said almost) wished I could hop on a plane and do a little visiting.  Then, I had lunch yesterday with a friend and as we walked out of the restaurant the memories of slipping and sliding out on the sidewalk and getting into a cold car came to remind me that just the Texas cold would be good enough for a taste of Winter!!  The "snow birds" should be arriving in droves from the northlands quite soon!

Have a wonderful day.  Be careful out there mixin' and a minglin' with crazies who are shopping for those last minute gifts!  Parking spots are at a premium I hear!  Keep that Christmas spirit ragin'!!!  Until Monday...enjoy your weekend!

A special Texas Christmas thanks to my followers around the globe ...  It's been quite a ride this year!!
Remember you are loved & prayed for ... YA YOU!!  

 

TGIF! A Winter Friday in Texas!

Good Morning!  It's a downright chilly day here in the Lone Star State.  I tried blanketing up and doing my 40 Days out on the back porch this morning.  However, when my fingers froze up and I couldn't hold my pen, I decided it was time to head inside and put a log on the fire.  Michael brought me a cup of coffee, Sadie plunked herself down at my feet and I am feeling much, much better!

Speaking of my 40 Days ... it's going well & I am finding that it is good to start my day with positiveness and prayer.  My 40 minutes usually gives way to at least an hour but that's because I am also doing my Daily Walk Bible reading (today 2 Peter  1-3) and a chapter a day in THE POWER OF PRAYING FOR YOUR ADULT CHILDREN.  I am learning so much ... I feel like I am back in college!  If you don't think you can have a dialog with God, believe me, you can!  As I journaled I had so many questions and He led me to Psalm 139 ...

"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!  How vast is the sum of them!" ~~ Psalm 139:17

Countdown to Christmas continues ... hasn't this year flown by?  I know that as a child I thought that Christmas took so long to get there.  My brother and I would impatiently wait for mom and dad to get home from work so that we could get going to my Aunt Sis's and Uncle Cloyde's.  Their house was filled with people and presents under the tree came way out onto the floor.  Funny, I remember one Christmas ... they had gotten a new TV and we watched Bonanza.  Wow! As children we were in pig heaven!!  The women were in the kitchen stirring the Oyster Stew and Chili, the men were "smoking" and my cousins and I were dancing with the joyousness of Christmas Eve.  It was a time where there was a cease fire in family arguments and we all enjoyed just being family ... for better or worse! 

My father loved Christmas and creating an outdoor wonderland.  He won many General Electric awards.  He would spend many hours using a jig saw cutting out Christmas characters and outlining them as well as the house in lights.  We had a 2 story house when he first started decorating and one year made a rocket with Santa on it to put on top of the house.  That was the talk of the town!  My mother wasn't as gung ho on decorating but did like her silver tinsel tree with red balls on it.  I got the Christmas gene and that gene has been passed on to my children.  I guess you could call us Christmas decor enthusiasts!!  I watched HGTV the other night when some designers decorated 3 "stars" homes for the holidays.  I guess the houses were pretty BUT to me Christmas is about the touch that is totally personal not about perfection.  Just like when I was a child, I enjoy playing with my treasures to create my own wonderland...

It is quiet here today except for Sadie taking her toys outside then bringing them inside ... she is so funny...  If you've ever watched any Christmas videos on Barney, President Bush's Scottie you will get an idea of the antics of the Scottish Terrier - they are wonderfully loyal and too smart for their own good!

Our dogren bring joy to our lives all year round ... Our Pomeranian, Khelsea, is more like a cat -- she prefers her den under the bed and sleeps most of the time now.  We keep her comfortable and cater to her whims as she ages.  Sadie, well, Sadie is a class act.  She's beautiful, strong and a hunter.  She's also stubborn and wants things "her way."  Toby is the house clown ... as a Yorkie-Poodle mix, he's a mess but a good mess.  Michael says we should have named him Velcro because he sticks to us wherever we go.  He drives Khelsea and Sadie crazy but they politely tolerate him unless he is sticking his nose in their food bowls!

As I was praying this morning, one thing that really stuck out was the value of relationships.  We all need good people around us who strengthen us and contribute to the quality of our lives.  Our relationships are many ... friends, coworkers, siblings, parents, children ...  I look back and see how valuable each of these friendships were and today, I realize how important they are to keeping my outlook alive and positive.  By nature, I have always been kind, friendly and accepting to everyone.  It has been at the times that I thought I could handle relationships with people who are a little more worldly (especially those disguised as Christians) that I got into the most trouble.  In this culture where there is so much evil influence, it is hard to know a person's true character.  Time...time...holds the key.  We live in a microwave society where self-indulgence has given way to a country in trouble, families in trouble and a waning of the family values that once were so important.  As a relationship coach, I learned as much as the advice I gave.  It was always important for me to let my clients know that my advice would be Christian-based.  When it came to affairs of the heart good sense went out the door and people would find themselves back in situations where they were comfortable even if those relationships were bad for them.  Dr. Romance dried many a tear and well as attended many a wedding.  Ah yes...relationships!!

"...learn to put aside your own desires so that you will become patient and godly, gladly letting God have his way with you.  This will make possible the next step, which is for you to enjoy other people and to like then, and finally you will grow to  love them deeply."~~2 Peter 1:6-7

Hamilton Elf and I wish you a very special Friday ... it's Trade Days weekend which means there are treasures to be found and delicious treats to be tasted!  The weekend is always a time of surprises and I think this one will be no exception!!

It's December 17, 2010 and Christmas is just around the corner.  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

Giving you a big YE HAW ... have a boot skootin' day!! 

  

A Beautiful December Thursday!

Good Afternoon Everyone!  What a blessed day it is in North Texas!  The sun is out and the air is crisp.  What a great day to be alive and celebrate the birth of my son 36 years ago.  I just called him and left a message on his voice mail ... I call my children on the day, hour and minute they poked their little heads out into this world.  This mom was sooo excited to greet them!

I don't know about yours, but my children love to hear about their stories of when they were born and photos are treasured keepsakes measuring growth and milestones.  They were wanted, prayed for and cherished from the moment of conception!

My son has an unusual story.  His father and I had two daughters without much "trying" ... however, when we decided that a third child would be a wonderful addition to our family, Mother Nature wasn't cooperating.   We met with my doctor who prescribed Clomid and prepared us for the possibility of multiple births.  We followed doctor's orders exactly and were so lucky to conceive on the first go around.  My daughters were with me when the doctor confirmed the pregnancy and by 5 that evening everyone on the street where we lived knew that they were going to have a baby brother or sister.  Believe me...it was a long nine months!!

This pregnancy was different than my previous two ... about six weeks into the pregnancy, I was cooking dinner and started bleeding.  My neighbor took me to the hospital where the doctor gave me the grave news ... I had less than a 50% chance of keeping this baby.  He also said that if the baby died, it probably meant that there was a reason.  My baby fought for his life and I prayed that he would be okay in every way.  I only gained 15 pounds but I looked like I was carrying three babies not just one.  Close to the end of my pregnancy, I started bleeding again and the doctor decided to induce labor.  We had three Christmas parties to attend the weekend before and I was the butt of many a joke.  I didn't need a tray.  I could put my plate quite easily on my tummy and have at it!!

We arrived at the hospital and things proceeded quite normally.  At that time, the nurses took bets on whether the baby was a boy or girl ... odds were that I was having another girl which was okay with me.  I was given an epidural and from there things went downhill quite quickly.   The nurses were slapping my face and telling me to open my eyes ... there were bright lights and they were drawing me to them.  I heard a voice saying it wasn't time ...  My doctor was trying to talk with me and I couldn't focus.  I was being placed on a gurney and being taken to surgery.  I remember two nurses getting up on each side of me and hearing the doctor saying, this baby and mom are in trouble, work fast!!

I woke up around 6 that evening in a panic.  My tummy was flat but where was my baby?  I rang for the nurse and she assured me that my "son" was fine.  I wanted to see my baby and they did bring him in for a short while ... I undressed him and checked him over from head to toe.  He was beautiful ... he was almost 7+ pounds with dark hair and blue eyes.  This was the child we had hoped for ... the child I prayed for ...  It was almost Christmas and there was celebrating to be done!!

We stayed in the hospital for a week and then came home to some pretty excited little girls and a houseful of friends.  Tommy was bundled up in a red Christmas stocking and the girls wondered if Santa had dropped him off at the hospital.  The girls put him in their doll buggy and pushed him around the house.  I would anticipate his cries at night and rock him for hours thanking God for this little boy he placed in our home and in my heart. 

My son struggled as an infant ... pneumonia at 5 weeks, chicken pox at 4 months, hospitalized at 10 months with cellulitis...  But, there was just something about this little guy that made people smile and gravitate towards him.  The doctor he had at 10 months, set a broken bone when he was a teenager and would you believe ... he remembered Tommy and that he had taken his wife to meet him at Childrens Hospital.  At 4, we discovered that he had no depth perception and needed glasses.  It was so funny ... the moment he put his glasses on, he refused to take them off.  HE COULD SEE!!  The eye doctor said he would always have trouble with depth perception especially with driving, playing spots, etc.  But, you know what?  He learned to compensate and he became the star goalie on his soccer team, the receiver on the football team ... he was amazing to watch because he would take time to eye the ball then once he got it, he really got it!!  He wasn't just an okay player, he was an excellent player!  Driving?  Well, let's just say that he went through a lot of tires going around corners!!

Tommy has always had such a warm caring spirit and the strength of a warrior.  Like most teenaged boys,  he had a way of getting himself into some situations that warranted some discipline.  Yet, one thing that I have always liked about him is his sense of responsibility and determination!  In high school he did a term paper on family and it was published in the local newspaper.  He was a child whose parents were divorced yet he looked at that time as one of growth and knowing what he wanted in life ... a home, wife, 5 children, a good job that he enjoyed.  He was stubborn and deep in his thinking...  Adversity is a spring board to new opportunities in his book!

My son, like me, has had some struggles in life but I am happy to report that he is facing his dragons head on and doing what he needs to do.  Today, Tommy is married and has two sons of his own.  He's a man who loves the Lord and who wants to do the right thing in life.  He has been and always will be wise beyond his years and I admire that about him.  He is his own person ... still a little on the shy side but always first to offer a ready smile.

Yesterday, I found two long lost cousins on Facebook, Gary and Jim.  My cousin, Jim, lost his 36 year old son in Afghanistan last year.  My heart goes out to him.  A reminder for all of us to keep that love line going and make each day count.  Greg left a 4 year old son, Jack.  It is so sad to me that my father's family was so close for so many years and since my grandmother's passing, we've simply lost touch.

Today, I read 1 Peter 1-5.  It was very appropriate reading for today.  There are no roses without thorns and no victories without battles.   Pain has a way of shaping and refining us, no doubt!

Toby loved a walk in the Winter Garden this morning!

The countdown continues to Christmas ... "...the mercy of our God is very tender, and heaven's dawn is about to break upon us, to give light to those who sit in darkness and death's shadow, and to guide us to the path of peace." ~~ Luke 1:77-79

Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!

 

   

A TX Winter Wednesday

Hamilton Elf & I enjoying the Winter Garden

Hamilton Elf and I wish you a Merry Christmas countdown day! 

Would you believe that it is supposed to hit 80 degrees here today?  After our walk to assess the garden, I decided that a trip to Lowe's would be in order to replace some of the last Summer flowers that have suffered from the frost.  To breathe in the fresh air is so invigorating and gives me new life.  It will be cold again in the next day or so ... that's Texas weather for you!

December 15, 2010:  I am ankle deep in my Give Me 40 days that began with a 24 hour fast.  Several people have asked me why I do the fast...  Stormie Omartian says it best ... "The purpose of my fast is to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free" and to "break every yoke."  When I get hungry, I pray and feast on the word of God.

So far, my challenge is that as I begin to pray for others, I cry out in pain for my own hurts.  It is difficult to lay my own baggage at the feet of my Lord.  I want what I want first.  I am aware and as I confess my own selfishness, I am able to move on without guilt.  That's progress and I am definitely a work in progress.

One of my favorite books of the Bible is James and today I read James 1-5 - in fact, I read it through twice because there was so much meat in it.  Some blogs ago, I wrote that I had attended a church and the people were jumping up and down while they were singing ... "faith, faith, faith can move a mountain".  Well, the book of James is about faith.  Faith is daring to do something regardless of the consequence ... doing that right thing ... that thing that God asks of me to do.  Have you ever known what is right to do and then, being afraid of the ramifications, kept quiet?  Goodness gracious ... I was the "Queen of Peacekeeping" ... the "Princess of Sweeping Hurt Under the Rug"...  Now, my struggle is whether I am speaking out of my own hurt or on behalf of the Lord of my life.

"Remember, too, that knowing what is right to do and then not doing it is sin."~~James 4:17



Christmas of Old

Christmas and the Tears of the Hurt:  As I was meditating this morning, I remembered something that I had put in the closet of my mind.  It was Christmas Eve and I was very small.  I walked up the stairs to find my mother and father and could hear my father crying.  I stopped almost to the top of the stairs so that I could hear but they couldn't see me.  My father was not only crying, he was sobbing ... my  mother was standing beside him as he sat on the edge of the bed with her hands on his shoulder.  "Why didn't they invite us?"  "Christmas is about family."  I heard my mother respond with ... "I talked with Alida and she said they didn't invite us because we have been spending Christmas Eve with my family."  My father responded with, "I know, but it hurts not to be included and invited."  I sadly turned and walked downstairs.  It was the only time I ever heard my father cry.    Knowing my father's family, I am sure that they didn't mean to hurt my father but it happened ... not only did it happen but it brought a grown man to sobs of sorrow.  His family meant so much to him and he was always there for them ... an oversight?  I wonder what the rest of the story was...

Christmas ... A time of joyous celebration at the birth of our Savior.  A time to gather with family and friends to share love and celebrate that camaraderie.  It is also a time when suicides, domestic violence, and lapses in addictions occur.  Why is that?  Personally, for so many years, I numbed myself to the pain of life and allowed my person to function without true feeling.  I was always the happy one. I lived as I lived as a child ... survival...  Today, on Facebook, one of my friends related a story about her rescued Cairn Terrier.  The little dog so sweet and soft, has had trouble trusting them enough to hold her.  She will wag her tail but keeps her distance.  Abuse whether its to an animal or a person is like that.  I am like that ... I will smile and come close hoping that the rejection suffered as a child and adult won't happen again.  I am better and I am more aware of my own frailties.  When my fellowman knows of my history and is deliberately cruel, I realize that it has nothing to do with me.

So...how do I handle Christmas?  I love decorating my home from front door to back with everything I love about Christmas!!  I attend church and sing carols of old.  I select a family that needs holiday cheer and give them some of mine.  (this year I selected my daughter and her family and gave them a Christmas Evening before Christmas)  I think about my legacy and what I want my children and grandchildren to remember about me.  I am an adult and I can be as kind to myself as I am to others.  I am fortunate that Michael shares my path to wellness and love of family ... believe me, it wasn't without some tough work on his part as well as mine!!  I can choose what my focus is on... Can I change someone else?  No, the Holy Spirit has that job.  Can I accept the fact that life can be quite hurtful?  Yes...  Are things in my life the way I wish they were?  No ... I am realizing that I don't have to give up me ... I did that for way too many years!  My Christmas's of the past have given way to a new Christmas ... a Christmas filled with love, laughter and friendship.  Something happened yesterday evening that I wish I could share totally with you, my readers.  It was a phone call that took me by surprise ... I was in awe at the love being shared across the lines ... a phone call that exhibited all of the true meaning of Christmas.  It was at that moment that I knew that God had heard my prayers!  I am grateful!!

Some years ago, my daughter sent me the doll in the photo.  I wish you could see more of the doll's detail.  I never put her away because she is a reminder of the relationship that I have with my child.  We both love everything about her ... the leopard fur-collared jacket ... the crazy hat with a pheasant feather ... the boots ... and most of all we love her jewelry ... a necklace that says, "you can do it" and another that says, "go girl."  She sits on my dresser beside my bed so I see her when I wake up and when I go to bed.  It is that message I leave with you today... YOU CAN DO IT and GO GIRL (or guy as you wish).
 
Tis the season to be jolly ... fa la la la la la la la la!  My days go by way too quickly ... my body needs the extra rest; however, I would rather be out and about spreading some ho ho ho's!!  Speaking of ho ho ho's, it's time for me to hit the nursery and get my pansies planted before the sun goes down.  It's been a great day!



Have a wonderful day whether you are shoveling snow or enjoying the gift of a warm Winter's day in Texas!  Always remember you are loved and prayed for ... YA YOU!!