October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October 10, 2012

Happy Fall, Y'all!!  Boy howdy, it was hot here today.  The humidity was sky high and I think I sweat off 5 pounds.  (I wish!)

Here I am ... Ms Insomniac ... If I am not sleepy by 11pm, there's something wrong.  I finally went to sleep at 3am this morning and got up at 8.  I've been busy all day watering my gardens, pulling boxes and tubs out of the storm shelter and shed and washing the floor of the storm shelter.  I got in a couple loads of laundry and a short visit with my friend, Beverly.  I should be down right exhausted.  Nope!  Eyes wide open ... energy still high.
 

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  I spent the month of October 2002 in the women's shelter that I helped establish.  I always like to remember that time because it was a pivotal season in my life.  It was there that God stripped me of everything and gave me more than I could imagine.

Domestic violence remains a huge and largely hidden problem. The purple ribbons you may have seen recently on car bumpers and people’s lapels are to remind us that someone is physically, sexually, psychologically or verbally abused by an intimate partner every 15 seconds. It crosses all racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic lines.

Psalm 11:5~~The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.

 

According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, in the United States, 1.3 million women and 830,000 men are assaulted each year by people they believe love them. In a 2005 survey, the Centers for Disease Control found that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men are victims of domestic violence at some point.

It goes on in teen couples as well as in adult relationships. One study found that 1 in 5 high school girls reported being physically or sexually abused by a dating partner. Another study of teen dating behavior found that 3 out of 5 teens say they’ve had a boyfriend or girlfriend who made them feel bad or embarrassed about themselves.

Often times victims don't complain.  Their abusers may have instilled such fear in them that they don't dare say anything.  Or, they have become so used to the manipulation and violence that they don’t recognize they are victims.  When I counseled abused women, it was not unusual for them to feel numb and appear expressionless.   Sadly, it is often only when someone has become seriously hurt that family, friends, and professionals get involved.

Galations 5:19-21~~Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Things are getting better. Since the 1994 passage of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), there has been increased awareness of the problem. More proactive measures are being taken to identify and help victims. It’s now common for medical professionals to ask people if anyone is hurting them as part of a routine physical as well as when someone is injured. School counselors, nurses, and teachers are becoming educated to the signs that a child is being traumatized or hurt and are taking steps to intervene. Mental health counselors are more sensitive to the issue and more sophisticated in encouraging their patients to talk about what they’d rather not talk about.

Ephesians 4:29-32~~Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

 

Often the abuser doesn’t understand that his or her behavior is in fact abusive. Raised in a family where abuse was business as usual, they don’t recognize their manipulative or overt efforts to control others as abnormal. Not having been brought up in a loving and secure family, they don’t know how to be secure and comfortable in their partner’s love.
 

When things go well, all is well. But when angered or threatened by real or imagined slights, they lose it – just as they watched the adults of the previous generation lose it. Some are then remorseful and apologetic. They mean well. They want to do better than was done to them. But they can’t hold onto their good intentions when upset. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much to upset them.

Colossians 3:19~~Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

I have shared my history of abuse and I'd like to do something a little different.  Some time ago now, I interviewed a young lady who had gone through some pretty horriffic abuse.  It is her story that I would like to share with you.  Stay tuned...

Readers, if you are one of those who are being abused or know of someone who is, please call the National Hotline number:  1-800-799-SAFE.  They can help ... I know, I made a call to my local shelter hotline!

Take gentle care ... it is NOT selfish to take good care of yourself,  YOU are important!!  Always remember you are loved and prayed for!!  ALWAYS!!

Miss Dottie

PS  Things don’t go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be.” Charles Jones.